7 Reasons Women Who Had a Toxic Childhood Can't Sustain a High-quality Life

Do you ever feel emotional baggage come up when you're trying to create a better life?

Insecurity, second-guessing yourself, worrying about the outcome or what could go wrong?

Do you worry what other people think of you? Or worse, judge yourself harshly?

You like thinking the past is the past, and you’re free. But if you had a not so Hallmark kind of childhood, one you might categorize as toxic or unhealthy, and you're not living a high quality life as your normal, it could be because of these 7 reasons.

Watch this week's show, to see how to shatter those reasons and breakthrough to your forever freedom!. I promise you'll thank me later! 

❌Always Feel Like An Outsider

There's nothing worse than feeling like you don't fit in. But some people are meant to stand out. When you move through life focused on fitting in, you almost always end up feeling like an outsider.

You take on identities that are not a match, become more of who you think you should be that is acceptable to others vs. truly honoring the real you. 

Decide to connect with the parts of you that have been put away, that you keep in hiding for safety and security and let her come out to play. Let her be visible. Honor who you are here to be and you will start to attract people who appreciate the real you. Connecting with yourself is the first step to moving away from feeling like an outsider.

❌Need for Constant Validation

When you're stepping in a new direction it can feel like you're exposed. You may want that safe feeling and reach out to others for approval, validation. This can lead to opening yourself up for criticism from people who are not qualified to be you or do what you want to do.

After the whole women empowering women movement, it's become a bit of a crutch. Feeling you need your women around you, your people to be successful or honor the path you want to travel. While it's certainly a positive to surround yourself with those who see and appreciate the real you, it's not required for you to feel at ease with who you are or what you can accomplish.

The most important, and in reality the only person who can truly validate you - is you. Support yourself, focus on what you can do, talk yourself into feeling confident and you will become confident. 

❌Lack of Core Confidence 

There's a big difference between acting confident on the outside and being confident from the inside. People see right through that "fake it until you make it" energy. So skip it. This hole in your energy can keep you reaching out for constant validation from others, but it can also stop you from saying yes to opportunities that expand your entire world.

Create practices that remind you who you are, how far you've come, what you've already learned, accomplished and created. Develop and build this muscle and do it consistently forever. You're certain to cross new thresholds into unknown territory and you'll need that core confidence to take you there and keep you growing.

❌Afraid of Negative Emotions

Everything and everyone influences us to believe that feeling bad is bad. Talk of emotions like anxiety, worry, and depression are things to fix. What should be happening is educating the truth about emotions - that they are only signals.

Trying to suppress, run from, or avoid negative feelings leaves out the entire purpose of having them in the first place. They are manifesting simply to make you aware that something in your alignment is off. You are focused on something or someone that does not align with your soul.

Negative emotions only mean the meaning we give them. If you assign alert or signal to an emotion like anxiety than when it shows up for you, you notice and can tend to whatever it's pointing your attention to vs. shoving it down or walking around with the belief that there is something wrong with you. There is something off in your point of focus not you. 

❌Ashamed of Your Childhood

Walking through life with feelings of shame about your childhood may cause you to shut down or try to hide parts of yourself. Feeling ashamed also indicates that whatever happened made you less than or not enough.

It takes a lot of energy to keep your childhood behind the curtain, knowing it's there but feeling afraid someone will pull that curtain back one day and see everything you grew up in.

Take some time to sit with your feelings and memories about your childhood and notice if anything comes up that you still feel ashamed about. That's opportunity for healing.

❌Believe It's Your Fault

Taking on the responsibility for other people's behaviors is quite the burden to carry. You are not to blame for the choices other people make. Certainly as a child it was not your fault if you were treated poorly or worse, abused. 

As an adult it can be easy to default into that self-blame mindset, mostly because it's less hurtful than admitting that someone who was supposed to love and care for you didn't. But it's not your fault. 

There's nothing you could have said more or less, done more or less to change the other person. If they were unstable or abusive, chances are you developed the habit of over-functioning, trying to keep the peace or please that person. None of this was most likely possible because whatever their behavior, it was subconscious and not because of you.

As you move through your life it's important to change the way you show up if you are doing any of those default patterns and eliminate anyone who does not treat you the way you want to be treated. But first, you must be good to yourself to set example

❌Haven't Healed the Past Yet

If you cannot talk about your childhood or the past without feelings of shame, anger, blame, or pain coming up, there is healing to be done. And we all have parts of our soul that were wounded along the way. Healing is not a one-time shot, it's an ongoing process.

The more you step out as your true self, the more you'll discover what those areas that need healing are. No need to feel you haven't done enough or be concerned you slipped back into your old ways, you don't even need to dig for what needs healing.

You can just give loving attention to the parts of you that call for healing as they come up. They come up when you subconsciously sense an old feeling. Observe and notice it, work through it and on you go. 

If you are experiencing any of these signs, it's all normal. 

It's also a great sign that you're ready for growth, to connect with your true self and consciously take control of the areas of your life you want to improve. And you don't need to do it alone.

I help you understand, work with, change and utilize the subconscious part of your operating system, so you are able to change your life using a deeper, more holistic approach.

Apply to work with me to radiate a feeling of nourishment, health, fuel, vitality, and freedom - and much, much more!